Twenty-five commandments

Jesse Thorn has a sightly, uh, thorny list of rules for male men who wear clothes – which must include me. Here’s one:

Never wear visible socks with shorts.

From an early age, I’ve had the thing about not wearing socks with sandals hammered into me, so that now it’s as deeply primal as the one about running away when you see a tiger. But socks with shorts? I’d never considered that. This is terrible news. (There is something creepy about those sort of truncated socks, so I’ll have to do completely without.)

On the bright side, this is an opportunity for pouring scorn on all footballers whose socks are always eminently visible beneath their shorts. “All” is a shame, because I’m fonder of some than of others, but it’s easy to pretend that any of the good ones are magically innocent. In your face, then, Paul Scholes.

Also, it is a list of more than one tip, right? So, there’s also this one:

Only wear a tie if you’re also wearing a suit or sportcoat (or, very casually, a sweater). Shirt, tie and no jacket is the wedding uniform of a nine-year-old.

This pleases me, and there are still more.