And so we say goodbye to 2009. We also say hello to 2010. And what have we here? This website is different. All the old things have gone. Not necessarily gone forever, but gone for now. I hope you don’t mind.

Of course, it is a pure coincidence that the start of the decade should coincide with a perhaps unnecessary and overenthusiastic licking of this publication’s paint. I do not need my calendar to run out to tell me what to do. I am my own man. I was going to do this anyway, and it just happened to be New Year’s Day.

I seem to remember urinating into the bathtub at the beginning of 2009 – if not exactly at midnight, certainly within a few days of that moment. Don’t worry, I wasn’t standing in the bath, but treating it like some kind of urinal, as the water swirled into the plughole. I’m sure it’s acceptable, as long as one doesn’t write about on one’s blog or something. You should respect and admire me for being such a brilliant friend of the environment. I have done it numerous times since.

This time around, nothing quite so exciting happened. Big Ben made its noise when I was in the bath, and shortly afterwards I was disappointed to notice that someone had eaten the last piece of chocolate brownie. All three mince pies had disappeared too. My life is fantastic.

It would be melodramatic to say that the decade known as the noughties has decayed, but it is certainly over now. It was the first decade that I have been around for the entirety of. It was pretty good overall, but I will be furious if it is not trumped by its successor. Hooray for this new, happening decade (I don’t know its name).