Week 101
-
Some things from previous weeks that have so far gone unmentioned:
-
I heard there was a moral imperative to eat venison, so I bought and cooked and ate some. Some of which turned out to have come from New Zealand, which Iām not sure thereās such a moral imperative to eat, and some of which was sausages cut with cranberry, which I usually avoid (but was OK), and pork, which again thereās less moral imperative to eat. I see a local butcher sells some cheap and actually local venison and things, so maybe I should go there. Interacting with a meat monger feels a bit intimidating, even though I know that in practice theyāre some of the most cheerful people youāll come across.
-
Something else? I canāt remember.
-
-
There are some adverts on commercial radio that get one oneās tits. For example, I hope smug Timmy, or whatever his name is, chokes on his āfinest steak for twoā. He tells us he omits garlic, because āyou know what I meanā wink wink nudge nudge, but, as properly cooked garlic is actually neutral to fragrant and doesnāt preclude canoodling, either the lad (who I hope is fictional, because Iāve just wished an obstructed windpipe on him) doesnāt cook garlic properly, or the wink wink nudge nudge is because heās cooking for a vampire.
I can choose not to listen to that, but then I walk along and find an outdoor advert ā not a billboard, the wall of a bus shelter ā with the pratās smug face on it. Thereās no escape from a multi-platform advertising campaign, oh dear.
-
Something occurred that reminded me of the story about the guy having breafast with Jeff Bezos and Bezos eating some octopus. Turns out itās not how I remember imagining it ā Bezos eating the tentacles one by one, the tentacles representing his competitors, like Julius Nicholson eating the onion bhaji or something. No, Bezos was all, āYouāre the octopus that Iām having for breakfast ⦠When I look at the menu, youāre the thing I donāt understand, the thing Iāve never had. I must have the breakfast octopusā (explaining why he bought his breakfast mateās company). And the octopus comes buried under more normal looking elements of the appetising breakfast menu item.
-
Getting jabbed with the vax next week! Which is surprisingly quick. I do, technically, have an heart disease ā one which has so far never caused me any trouble and I could have gone most of my life without finding out about, you could even galaxy-brainedly say my heart is normal and everyone elseās are weird ā so I think thatās why the algorithm chose to send me the text message. Or maybe thereās been another mistake like the dude who was in the database as being six centimetres tall. Well, Iām relieved to have had some confirmation that my registration with the GP, some months ago, had been processed, and I look forward to standing in line with presumably older and poorlier people and feeling like a bit of a fraud.