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The lower kitchen cupboards here have a sort of āfalse backā. I think itās bad design ā inefficient use of space ā and not a deliberate feature. Thereās a gap at the top through which you could drop things like cash and secret documents, but then youād need an exceptionally long bendy arm to retrieve them. It means an enemy could seek revenge by secreting (which here means āconcealingā, not āexcretingā) prawns without the needlework associated with sewing them into the curtains, so Iād better not upset anyone who has access to the kitchen cupboards.
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Wednesday morning, pottering, heard a helicopter overhead. Looked at the AirNav RadarBox app, which seems to filter out fewer aircraft than other apps do, and by jingo it was a royal helicopter that flown from Kensington Palace and was now disturbing my breakfast. According to local press, in the helicopter was Prince Richard the Duke of Gloucester, who was visiting a local homelessness charity (to which I maintain a monthly direct debit, despite one of their vans once mounting a pavement and making me think I was getting run over, because Iām generous and not petty or vindictive). But hang on a minute, Prince Richard the Duke of Gloucester? Itās troubling that thereās a whole prince whoās been princing around all my life and Iāve never heard of him, like when you notice a building youāve never noticed before.
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Yard Act (h). (āHalf Man Half Biscuit for thick peopleā, but actually not that at all.)
Some rap artists confusingly call Range Rovers Rovers, so I wondered if the Rover mentioned in Fixer Upper (which they didnāt play) was really a Range Rover too, but no apparently itās a Rover 200. (Although these days, Range Rovers have replaced Rovers as the car of choice for certain kinds of people, e.g. the prime minister and Alan Partridge.)
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In London (Westfield Stratford), not for the first time, I found myself rolling up a sleeve and bravely reaching into a public toilet bowl to unblock a blockage (and then of course washing my hands and arm so thoroughly that I might have looked like an actual germophobe). It was busy, and Iād entered the cubicle and hesitated, and the longer I hesitated the more I couldnāt leave without it looking like Iād caused the blockage, so really I had no choice ā¦ but Iām also just a conscientious legend whoās great.