Week 115: strong and frequent language

Tuesday 1 June 2021

• Twanged my ankle.

  Like the last time this happened, I was wearing some Atheist Shoes – they’re quite comfortable, and look interesting from above, but I don’t actually enjoy the shouty Richard Dawkings style message on the soles, and apparently God dislikes them enough to injure me. I was just walking along, not doing anything dangerous, so there’s no other explanation.

  I went to the freezer for some ice to speed up the healing, but it turned out I’d switched it off at the plug earlier – not quite unwittingly, I remembered I’d done it to silence its loud hum, but not remembered to switch it back on. Not too much ruined – just some chopped chilli and garlic, which are things to have in a freezer I warmly recommend.

  Spent one day indoors and now, some days later, it feels mostly normal again, which is terrific.

• I fancied a Cornetto, but the availability of Cornetti is surprisingly poor. A typical small shop has only strawberry (the worst of the flavours) or a “soft” chocolate kind (as if a normal one is too hard … sounds a bit effeminate).

  Eating the vegetable fat based frozen dessert cone I settled for, I saw a car with a big spoiler. Like the last such motor I was intrigued enough by to Google the number plate, it had its own Instagram account (with not so many followers). I learn that Toyota based the shade of red paint on the bum of a macaque, which is great and reminds me that those godless shoes are available in “kitten testicle grey”.

• I haven’t finished Curb Your Enthusiasm, but it’s disappeared from Sky Go for a bit, which is OK – it’s a thing that happens, and I’d noticed the expiry date warning a few days earlier, and it’s likely to reappear one day in the future.

  It’s funny how the continuity announcer on some of the Sky programmes warns about “strong and frequent language”, which I guess means swearing and fast talking. But lots of boring bores on the internet have noticed the same thing, and I’ve not heard that phrase for a while, so maybe the folks at Sky have had all meetings about it and rerecorded the announcements to make slightly more sense, which is disappointing.