Week 182: coir matting

Monday 12 September 2022

• Still 1 Seconding Everyday, although it’s been years since I uploaded a video, and I’m undiligent about filming something every day every day. The other day I stood for minutes with the camera pointed at a gull, willing the seabird to fly off its perch before my arm got tired.

  1 Second Everyday is a bit like BeReal, which all the cool kids are using these days. (It’s also different in several important ways.) And I read that BeReal is “like the oat milk of apps”, in that … I wish they sold it in smaller cartons? It probably makes you fart less than cow milk?

• Noticed Joe Lycett had at least two of the Ikea Fransine cushion covers in the background of his interview on the Jeremy Vine television programme. It’s a good cushion cover. This generation’s Andy Kaufman, he wasn’t as good as Miles Jupp at presenting the weak Radio 4 parlour game It’s Not What You Know but that’s OK.

• A victim of bicycle theft again. And it’s OK, it was the heavy spare bicycle I’d been wondering whether to sell, which I’d sort of deliberately locked insecurely; the good new bicycle is light enough to carry upstairs to safety and remains unstolen. Haven’t reported it to the police yet … they’re probably too busy arresting protestors or shooting unarmed men. But I suppose I should, if only so the crime stats can have some small effect on house prices.

• Weird how they interrupted Bargain Hunt for a news report about how healthy the queen was, euphemisms eh. Two days later, I passed a church where “EɪɪR” was spelt out in offcuts of coir matting, or something of that nature, you know the stuff you stamp your feet and rub the soles of your shoes on at the entrance to somewhere. Did they have this poignant tribute ready for a while, or did the vicar start frantically cutting up carpet remnants after the news broke?

  

  Don’t look an extra bank holiday in the mouth, but at what cost – oh how it’s going to mess up bin collections and public transport timetable data. (I think Coatham Coaches is the first operator to upload an updated OperatingProfile confirming they’re not operating on the bank holiday, well done to them.)