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Last week, the bonce of Stanley Tucci appeared in my Instagram feed and I really thought it was Gregg Wallace. (As a phillistine I don’t really know who Tucci is but I’ve watched several episodes of Wallace’s Inside the Factory.) Days later, in John Lewis, there was Tucci again, printed on cardboard, advertising his own range of pots and pans, and I have to say that having a cookware brand is surely Gregg Wallace–coded behaviour and wonder if the pot and pan industry executives also conflated the two bald white men.
This week on Instgram, my swiping and scrolling was interrupted by an advert for Lee Kum Kee Chiu Chow Chilli Oil, a cheap video soundtracked by a looping, strangely truncated and yet still compelling bit of music (it appears more completely in a video on TikTok). Did you know that the Lee Kum Kee company, probably best known for supposedly inventing oyster sauce, also owns 20 Fenchurch Street (London’s so-called Walkie Talkie building) and has a venture capital arm that’s invested in things like the annoying proprietary geocode system what3words?
Months ago on Instagram I saw someone doing something revolting with biscuits and tea or something, and I let out an involuntary yelp that was the same as the noise I made that week upon seeing (maybe imagining) a mouse scurrying across the carpet of a holiday rental.
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After my Megabus experience last week, it cannot be a coincidence that they’re scaling back operations due to low passenger demand.
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Felt sick for most of the week, but now I don’t feel sick and I’ve finally done a normal poo so I’m pleased about that.