Archive

Here is a list of all the articles on this website. A lot are weak and embarrassing – some of the oldest, weakest and most embarrassing have gone missing – but isn’t preserving stuff on the web vaguely noble? Perhaps one day I’ll restore all the old rubbish, and the warmly valued reader comments.

April 2024

• 22 Week 266: asparagus
• 14 Week 265: sphincter
• 8 Week 264: horse muck

March 2024

• 31 Week 263: hotel charlie bravo
• 25 Week 262
• 18 Week 261: Rover
• 11 Week 260: retaining band
• 3 Week 259: Delta and the Bannermen

February 2024

• 26 Week 258
• 19 Week 257: bonus minutes
• 11 Week 256: Caesar salad days
• 4 Week 255
• 1 Did Football Focus’s Garth Crooks really call The Last Dinner Party ‘fine young women making really exciting pop music’?

January 2024

• 29 Week 254: phlebotomist’s nightmare
• 22 Week 253
• 15 Week 252
• 8 Week 251: not a guillemot

December 2023

• 31 Week 250: NYE
• 24 Week 249
• 18 Week 248: crisps
• 11 Week 247: macaroni
• 4 Week 246: sandwich cage

November 2023

• 27 Week 245
• 19 Week 244
• 13 Week 243: bunged
• 6 Week 242: apple cake

October 2023

• 29 Week 241: orange jigger
• 23 Week 240: bottle of Flash
• 16 Week 239
• 9 Week 238: vain bother
• 1 Week 237: too young to buy baba au rhum

September 2023

• 24 Week 236: floundering
• 17 Week 235: why do ants suddenly appear
• 11 Week 234
• 3 Week 233: knob

August 2023

• 27 Week 232: limp
• 21 Week 231: roux
• 14 Week 230: dark mode
• 6 Week 229: lack of rizz

July 2023

• 30 Week 228: unyielding
• 23 Week 227: achingly
• 17 Week 226: spoke
• 9 Week 225: pilling
• 2 Week 224: Fuji 9

June 2023

• 25 Week 223: chuffing choo-choo
• 18 Week 222: collage
• 11 Week 221: wool again
• 5 Week 220: rocket

May 2023

• 28 Week 219: no one wants to be the 27th Nigel
• 21 Week 218: Bristol
• 14 Week 217: invigorating
• 8 Week 216: bees hate him

April 2023

• 30 Week 215: standard deviation of heights
• 24 Week 214
• 17 Week 213: in the pocket of big tumble dryer
• 9 Week 212: burnt and misshapen
• 3 Week 211

March 2023

• 26 Week 210: orthodoxy of bed-making
• 20 Week 209
• 12 Week 208: milky trail
• 5 Week 207

February 2023

• 26 Week 206: no-chicken salad days
• 20 Week 205: the hardest measure to measure
• 13 Week 204: bumbling fool
• 7 Week 203: smoked salmon

January 2023

• 29 Week 202: two kinds of mop
• 23 Week 201: wool
• 16 Week 200: wrap
• 8 Week 199: chunky and classic
• 2 Week 198: glass spider
• 1 2022

December 2022

• 25 Week 197: festivities
• 18 Week 196: decongestant
• 12 Week 195: get back, lametta
• 4 Week 194

November 2022

• 28 Week 193: hegemony of cranberry
• 20 Week 192: Fisherman’s Friend
• 14 Week 191
• 6 Week 190

October 2022

• 31 Week 189: decorative gourd season
• 25 Week 188
• 16 Week 187: recognising things
• 10 Week 186: hegemony of fusilli
• 3 Week 185: upper crust

September 2022

• 26 Week 184: soft shoe
• 18 Week 183: deep purple
• 12 Week 182: coir matting
• 5 Week 181

August 2022

• 29 Week 180: locksmiths don’t want you to know this
• 22 Week 179: lost village
• 14 Week 178: crushing bore
• 7 Week 177: claret coloured bump

July 2022

• 31 Week 176: handle like eggs
• 25 Week 175: where’s me jumper
• 17 Week 174: fiddly-fart-arse
• 11 Week 173: seat filler
• 4 Week 172: sardine

June 2022

• 25 Week 171: novel
• 20 Week 170: weeping fig
• 13 Week 169
• 5 Week 168

May 2022

• 30 Week 167
• 23 Week 166
• 16 Week 165: dropout
• 8 Week 164: understudy
• 2 Week 163: gyros

April 2022

• 24 Week 162: Dutch oven
• 18 Week 161: occult
• 11 Week 160: both bland and disgusting
• 4 Week 159

March 2022

• 28 Week 158: it’s good to bother
• 21 Week 157
• 14 Week 156
• 6 Week 155: the plight of the pigeon

February 2022

• 28 Week 154
• 21 Week 153
• 14 Week 152
• 7 Week 151
• 1 Week 150

January 2022

• 24 Week 149
• 16 Week 148
• 10 Week 147
• 3 Week 146

December 2021

• 27 Week 145: Christmas
• 21 Week 144
• 13 Week 143: curtains
• 6 Week 142

November 2021

• 30 Week 141
• 22 Week 140
• 14 Week 139: semi pedestal
• 7 Week 138
• 1 Week 137: they saw me coming

October 2021

• 26 Week 136
• 18 Week 135
• 10 Week 134
• 4 Week 133

September 2021

• 27 Week 132
• 20 Week 131
• 12 Week 130
• 6 Week 129

August 2021

• 30 Week 128: tomato juice
• 23 Week 127
• 16 Week 126
• 10 Weeks 124 & 125

July 2021

• 26 Week 123: plonk(er)
• 18 Week 122
• 12 Week 121
• 6 Week 120

June 2021

• 28 Week 119
• 20 Week 118: shoe power user
• 14 Week 117
• 7 Week 116
• 1 Week 115: strong and frequent language

May 2021

• 23 Week 114: Unlimited* Sports Water
• 17 Week 113
• 10 Week 112
• 3 Week 111

April 2021

• 25 Week 110
• 19 Week 109
• 12 Week 108
• 4 Week 107: hot buns

March 2021

• 29 Week 106: mat
• 22 Week 105
• 15 Week 104
• 8 Week 103: glove in a canoe
• 1 Week 102

February 2021

• 21 Week 101
• 15 Week 100: duck shaped snowballs
• 8 Week 99
• 1 Week 98: Balmoral cairns

January 2021

• 24 Week 97
• 18 Week 96
• 11 Week 95
• 3 Week 94: egg initiative

December 2020

• 28 Week 93
• 21 Week 92
• 15 Week 91
• 7 Week 90

November 2020

• 30 Week 89
• 22 Week 88
• 15 Week 87
• 9 Week 86: tar patch for Alan Shearer
• 1 Week 85

October 2020

• 25 Week 84
• 19 Week 83
• 11 Week 82
• 5 Week 81

September 2020

• 27 Week 80
• 21 Week 79
• 13 Week 78
• 6 Week 77

August 2020

• 30 Week 76
• 24 Week 75
• 16 Week 74
• 9 Week 73
• 3 Week 72

July 2020

• 27 Week 71
• 20 Week 70
• 12 Week 69
• 6 Week 68

June 2020

• 28 Week 67
• 22 Week 66
• 15 Week 65
• 8 Week 64
• 2 Week 63

May 2020

• 25 Week 62
• 18 Week 61
• 10 Week 60
• 4 Week 59

April 2020

• 27 Week 58
• 19 Week 57
• 13 Week 56
• 6 Week 55

March 2020

• 30 Week 54
• 23 Week 53
• 15 Week 52
• 9 Week 51
• 1 Week 50: jet set swines

February 2020

• 24 Week 49
• 17 Week 48
• 10 Week 47
• 3 Week 46

January 2020

• 26 Week 45: bunglings
• 20 Week 44: it’s Patrick, he took out life insurance
• 14 Week 43: hostel goose
• 5 Weeks 41 & 42

December 2019

• 23 Week 40
• 16 Week 39: flange grease
• 10 Week 38
• 1 Week 37

November 2019

• 26 Week 36
• 18 Week 35
• 11 Week 34
• 4 Week 33

October 2019

• 28 Week 32
• 20 Week 31
• 13 Week 30
• 6 Week 29
• 1 Week 28

September 2019

• 22 Week 27
• 17 Week 26
• 9 Week 25
• 1 Week 24

August 2019

• 25 Week 23
• 18 Week 22
• 12 Week 21
• 4 Week 20

July 2019

• 28 Week 19
• 21 Week 18
• 14 Week 17
• 7 Week 16
• 1 Week 15

June 2019

• 24 Week 14
• 17 Week 13
• 10 Week 12
• 3 ’s week

May 2019

• 27 Week notes: disappointing crab sandwich
• 20 Week notes: shiny metal balls
• 13 Week notes
• 6 Week notes: 100 miles

April 2019

• 29 Week notes
• 22 Week notes: Thurrock
• 10 Week notes
• 2 Week notes: dust

March 2019

• 25 Week notes: week notes
• 17 Week notes: Bono's house
• 1 January and February 2019

January 2019

• 1 November and December 2018

November 2018

• 2 Fliegenfänger
• 1 October 2018

October 2018

• 1 September 2018

August 2018

• 31 August 2018

July 2018

• 31 July 2018
• 2 June 2018

June 2018

• 7 May 2018

April 2018

• 29 Fixing a hole
• 9 Bus Times
• 5 Index of /

March 2018

• 27 11 responses to the New York Times headline ‘Bulletproof, Slow and Full of Wine: Kim Jong-un’s Mystery Train’
• 27 Trousers II
• 23 🚽
• 22 Cook Suck
• 7 Aspirational trousers

February 2018

• 28 ‘Can someone explain why BBC One is covered in CSS?’
• 27 Is a robot DJ working for Morrisons the person with the best music taste in the country?

January 2017

• 15 CHEAPER to fly to SPAIN?

June 2016

• 12 Trees

December 2015

• 31 2015

October 2015

• 24 Peter Mandelson’s yoghurt

July 2015

• 19 From ‘Tom’s Midnight Garden’ (1999)

June 2015

• 3 @sepp_not_seth

August 2014

• 27 Sandwich board
• 23 ‘Building Sights’

July 2014

• 29 Nanogeddon

January 2014

• 4 ‘The difference between a dish-cloth and a tea-cloth’

December 2013

• 13 Yoghurt

July 2013

• 28 Pork
• 28 Avocado

June 2013

• 18 You don’t eat a dog like that all at once

May 2013

• 15 Crock
• 13 How to sit
• 11 Because proper tea is theft
• 10 ‘How to Sharpen Pencils’

April 2013

• 30 Subediting
• 30 Secrets of the unicorn
• 10 Didn’t break, wasn’t bad

March 2013

• 30 Mastermind
• 26 Monday

February 2013

• 10 Oscar Wilde and the Daleks

January 2013

• 26 The things they can do with computers these days
• 14 ‘A new error’
• 14 Completely?

October 2012

• 28 Gordon Ramsay just changed my life
• 2 Oh, Robert

August 2012

• 24 Nobody knows shoes
• 4 Qihoo!
• 4 Jack Dorsey’s Square dongle

July 2012

• 8 The normal amount of ketchup packets
• 7 Be kind

June 2012

• 25 ‘[Just] don’t fart naked near food’
• 16 The Zebra Sarasa Clip
• 15 What the world thinks
• 8 Knowing the working class from your elbow
• 8 De-loused, in the comma-torium
• 1 Distract 9

April 2012

• 27 Sandwich board
• 16 Milligan; Sandbrook
• 15 Google as a baboon
• 11 Dent(ifrice) in the universe
• 10 Facebook as an invisible elephant, and particularly horrible programming
• 6 The Zebra Sarasa
• 1 ‘Unwelt’

March 2012

• 4 URL shorteners and Twitter

February 2012

• 25 The Sun on Sunday
• 2 ‘Keywasher’

January 2012

• 29 Very good sentences
• 24 DuckDuckGo WordPress search
• 18 File under ‘everything is a remix’
• 16 Hemlock Soames
• 16 G is for George
• 4 Kindle iTunes Match blown out

December 2011

• 20 A good sentence
• 17 Vince meat
• 6 ‘It’s a minimalist dust that I use’
• 3 The Weakest Link

November 2011

• 30 Quote out of context
• 25 Microsoft’s bushel of light
• 25 Astronomer rubbishes moons
• 24 You’re welcome
• 20 Mo news is good news
• 9 Fact of the day
• 7 Crunch

October 2011

• 21 ‘A sort of surprise’
• 20 Twenty-five commandments
• 18 What

September 2011

• 28 Jeff Bezos Dog Doo-Dah Band
• 23 Tumblr site of the week
• 23 Iconoclasm, now an extension
• 11 11/9
• 10 Block buster
• 3 Page Eight typography

August 2011

• 4 Oh, the humanity
• 4 First world problem
• 2 ‘Buzzing, sugar-pissed youth’

July 2011

• 31 Semi-fortnightly
• 28 Framboise
• 22 Wizard
• 14 Let them eat cack
• 12 Ball and (how low can you go?)
• 9 ‘Hitler was nice to dogs’
• 2 ‘Our philosophy’
• 2 The grating outdoors

June 2011

• 26 Iconoclasm
• 6 This made me smile

May 2011

• 24 The spare near my fingers
• 14 Distract 9
• 3 Analogous
• 2 The big sheep

April 2011

• 22 Yes, wee can?

March 2011

• 26 Handkerchief whip
• 12 Quack, snaffle and pop

February 2011

• 27 Don’t have nightmares
• 14 Prig
• 10 Venison peril

January 2011

• 16 ‘Sandwich bored’
• 5 Talking heads don’t make sense
• 3 Mumbles ‘go to Iceland’

December 2010

• 30 The year in crisps
• 17 Orange of uses

November 2010

• 21 Produce of my imagination?
• 13 Nomenclature

October 2010

• 25 Pope and glory
• 12 Segues

September 2010

• 21 Hold the front leaf
• 18 Fruit flies like an apple
• 12 Bramble

August 2010

• 29 The audacity of soap
• 13 I am not a number, I am a fruit man
• 6 Pith gear

July 2010

• 29 Notes on a Kindle
• 21 Shet happened

June 2010

• 14 Let them eat Kaká

May 2010

• 23 Are ‘friends’ elected?
• 8 Horsey

April 2010

• 9 Watergate

March 2010

• 7 Was the revolution televised?

January 2010

• 25 Unleash the beauty of nature
• 5 Look and listen
• 3 Christmas
• 1 Hello

December 2009

• 9 From a novel

November 2009

• 22 Seaside

October 2009

• 17 The observer
• 11 Pen & Jerry’s
• 4 My slapstick life

September 2009

• 19 Docked a who
• 16 The rhino isn’t eating a flannel

August 2009

• 26 Two vignettes
• 16 Things to look at

July 2009

• 27 I dreamed a dream
• 25 Politerrific?
• 12 A close shave
• 5 Sansa baby
• 4 Southwold
• 3 Actually, outrageous advertising
• 2 Not effective advertising

June 2009

• 27 Snot funny
• 21 Under the weather
• 16 Opulent, fantastic days
• 12 In your dreams
• 11 Get a moob on
• 10 The hair and the tortoise
• 8 Pretentious gunk

May 2009

• 25 On the lack of potato spillages
• 23 Angular moralization
• 15 Vignette
• 6 Belated birthday greetings, me

April 2009

• 24 Yeast benders
• 20 Great Scot
• 9 Did you miss me?
• 4 Fat cat
• 3 High coo

March 2009

• 28 Stuff, and other things
• 22 Rural life
• 13 Bad analogy number 1
• 5 Apples, windows, and raincoats

February 2009

• 28 Behold
• 23 Doing good, feeling itchy
• 22 A bath and a half
• 21 Oh look, some air
• 20 Present tense
• 19 David Dickinson’s scarf
• 18 Teeth
• 17 Fish fingers
• 14 Some lies about the weather
• 13 Debunking some superstitions
• 10 The shelf and the head
• 9 My last words on breakfast
• 8 The obligatory toast post
• 7 Beachbumdog billionaire
• 5 Hens kissing
• 4 On cereal and addiction
• 3 Acting the goat
• 2 Yesterday

January 2009

• 13 Scenes from a walk

December 2008

• 28 A true story